According to the comparison website, smartphone owners are more concerned about how easy a handset is to use (29 per cent) and call reception (19 per cent), while just three per cent said quirky/unique features were the top priority.
More than 1,600 people on monthly contracts took part in the research and were asked about the features that would make them "more likely" to purchase a specific handset – including newer features seen on the latest flagship devices.
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Nearly nine out of 10 people said they would be "more likely to buy" a handset with a long battery life, with a waterproof body also scoring highly. Innovations such as voice control, 3D graphics and eyeball tracking didn't fare so well.
Alas the survey did not include a handset's audio or video capabilities, for those of you wondering whether high-resolution audio or Ultra HD 4K playback were considered.
uSwitch.com telecoms expert Ernest Doku: “It’s becoming increasingly hard for smartphone makers to differentiate their handsets from those of their rivals. They hope that flash features will give their phones the edge.
"However, our research shows that many Brits can spot a gimmick from a mile away. It’s actually the basics that affect the every day user experience – like long battery life and a robust design – that people really care about."