It's now been 40 years since Star Wars was released in cinemas: can you very believe it? Most marriages don't even last that long, albeit most marriages don't have space ships or magic glowing swords.
Now let it be known not all of this Star Wars merchandise comes with our hearty recommendation (there is, for instance, a Crosley turntable), but there is hopefully something in this shopping list for those who can't let this cinematic jubilee pass without some kind of commemorative purchase.
Star Wars Blu-ray collection
Scientists believe there is a less-than 1 per cent chance of Star Wars fans ever tiring of watching the films, and those odds are further diminished if they're allowed to watch in fancy dress.
That's why any self-respecting Star Wars fan should have the films on (every type of) disc, just in case they ever stop repeating them on telly eight times a year.
Buy Star Wars: The Complete Saga (opens in new tab)(Episodes I-VI) on Blu-ray
Buy Star Wars: The Force Awakens (opens in new tab)on Blu-ray
Buy Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (opens in new tab) on Blu-ray
Star Wars soundtracks on vinyl
Fan of Star Wars or otherwise, few could fail to be impressed by the vinyl soundtrack to The Force Awakens.
All the other soundtracks are now available on vinyl, too.
Buy Star Wars: The Force Awakens Hologram Vinyl (opens in new tab)
Buy Star Wars: The Ultimate Vinyl Collection (opens in new tab)
Buy Rogue One: A Star Wars Story vinyl (opens in new tab)
Death Star floating Bluetooth speaker
Things float in Star Wars because it's in space and also because it isn't real. A floating Death Star speaker, on the other hand, isn't set in space and, bafflingly, actually exists.
Not only does this gadget levitate, thanks to some magnets, it also rotates and glows in the dark. We can't tell you how good (or otherwise) it sounds - it has yet to reach the top of the What Hi-Fi? review schedule - but for the Star Wars fan in your life, surely it's five stars for the design alone?
Buy Death Star Bluetooth speaker (opens in new tab)
Darth Vader Bluetooth speaker
"this looks amazing i hope this item is in stock as i would buy it" [sic].
Difficult to improve on dragondelta's three-star Amazon review there, so we won't even try.
The only other things you need know about this Disney-certified, limited-edition speaker are: it works with Bluetooth or 3.5mm aux cable, can charge devices via USB, and is the size of an actual head.
Buy Star Wars limited edition helmet speaker (opens in new tab)
Star Wars Episode VII headphones
These headphones may be marketed at children but, judging by the reviews left on Amazon, they appear to be popular with fully-grown Star Wars fans as well.
"My Sennheisers are broken so I had to borrow these from my nephew". Tell that to the cops, Clive.
Buy Star Wars Episode VII headphones (opens in new tab)
BB-8 headphone hat
Now this piece of Star Wars clothing is definitely only for kids: a machine-washable fleece hat resembling the BB-8 droid, with built-in headphones.
Volume is sensibly limited to 85db, so you can be sure your child's hearing is protected. Sadly it doesn't make the bleeps and bloops.
Buy Star Wars BB-8 Headphone Hat (opens in new tab)
Crosley 'A New Hope' turntable
A New Hope here refers to the Star Wars poster adorning this suitcase turntable, not the chance of Crosley producing a turntable that won't tear up your vinyl collection like kitten with a temper (unfortunately, we're not joking).
Released as a joint celebration for A New Hope's 40th and Record Store Day's 10th anniversaries, it was only available at certain independent stores, some of whom are still stocking it online (opens in new tab).