Why not try to see if whoever makes HobNobs (is it Mcvities?) might provide you a small grant, sponsorship or push the thing forward - if indeed HobNobs will play an integral part of your film. The deal could be something along the lines of the Orange telephone adverts in cinemas.
Thanks for the suggestion, hmtb - if only....
A screenwriter has no say in budgets, locations etc. unless you're a Spielberg type who produces and directs the picture. Once a script has been accepted (and purchased by a film co or a tv corp) you, as a writer, only receive a percentage until the shot has ended. Then you receive subsequent Royalties.
TV and film companies always think collaboration, however good or established you are. The chances of your script remaining as written is zero. That's why on the credits of films you see the "scriptwriter" followed by "associate" or "assistant". The latter two are usually unknown to the guy who's slogged on the script for months, or even years.
For me, it's essentially a hobby and any sniff I get that it's being looked at by an "insider" is a massive bonus. Fingers crossed.....
If the shoes don't fit, change the horse.
Well it's completed. I originally wrote about twenty pages as a serious drama/comedy and didn't work. After losing interest and put on the back burner I revisited the script in October and thought it had potential. Anyhow, today I've finished the full 50 pages, and it's one of the best scripts I've written in terms of dialogue and character interaction. Although, I have to stress it bares no relation to John Duncan apart from the baked products and he's a computer wizard.
Duncan Johnson is an itinerant computer boffin with, in his own words, an "overactive sweet tooth for HobNobs". Duncan works for a music company Haystak Music Corp; the crux of the story is that Duncan is as normal as one could hope for, yet it's all the other characters that are the real eccentrics... all munch on seeds and drink pureed swede juice for lunch, taking healthy living to a very unhealthy level. Duncan, therefore, not understanding the merits of such extremes, is a mass of quivering frustration and finds a soulmate with a very unlikely character.
Annette Curtin is a hypochondriatic simpleton and her colleagues, as a consequence, have nicknamed her "Joint Pain". It's only as the story unravels - Duncan is initally irritated by Joint Pain - she sympathises with his frustrations and they have a sweet, platonic, bond.
The film industry these days are pretty strict in what is respectable and what isn't... I've pushed the boundaries as far as possible.
It has some wonderful one-liners and panders to archetypes and cliches.
Duncan is in his usual "pick-up shop" for his daily fix of HobNobs and has a nonsense conversation with the shop keeper. A little further down the shopping aisle, Adam Faceless, a colleague who's a little envious of Duncan. He has a mundane position within Haystak and invites one-upmanship as often as possible.
One scene, in the office this time. Duncan is trying to repair the computer and chinwagging with a couple of colleagues. They start to laugh and someone calls Duncan an old WAG. Meanwhile, Joint Pain has associated the word with footballers and their wives and or girlfriends and says:" Is that 'wives and girlfriends?'". Looking at his colleague he replies "Her insight into the modern world is incredible."
Thinking deeply for a second, she adds: " Shouldn't that be 'wives or girlfriends?'"
Duncan turns quickly and retorts: "Thank you, miss Acronym!"
This is just one example of a very amusing story. I'll take it to the writers circle later this month and get their input. After which, JD is more than welcome to read the amended copy.