Have your say & ask the experts!

Worst film you've ever seen.

423 replies [Last post]
Paul.'s picture
Online
Joined: 26 Nov 2010
Posts: 2841
RE: Worst film you've ever seen.

FrankHarveyHiFi wrote:

If its got Nicholas Cage in it, its a 50/50 situation. Best left alone really.

ah, your describing the Nick/Nicholas Cage paradox.  When he has a ponytail and there is rubbish nickleback style rock music, that's Nick Cage.  When he is actually acting (I.e not just paying the bills) like Bad Lieutenant, that's Nicholas Cage.

__________________

Paul's system thread

(where the photos live) Paul's Flickr page

Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Posts: 4692
RE: Worst film you've ever seen.

Paul Hobbs wrote:

FrankHarveyHiFi wrote:

If its got Nicholas Cage in it, its a 50/50 situation. Best left alone really.

ah, your describing the Nick/Nicholas Cage paradox.  When he has a ponytail and there is rubbish nickleback style rock music, that's Nick Cage.  When he is actually acting (I.e not just paying the bills) like Bad Lieutenant, that's Nicholas Cage.

Don't really like any of his films. I'm a fan of the Coen Brothers, but don't really like Raising Arizona, Wild At Heart is pretty good, but other than that, not for me.

He's been involved in remakes of 2 of my favourite films, Wicker Man and Bad Lieutenent, so I can't trust his judgement, especially as Knowing was so poor.

 

 

 

__________________

LOUNGE:  Panasonic TX-P50GT50 (is poorly) / Panasonic DMP-BDT120 / Yamaha RX-A2020 / Dali Zensor 3 (front) / Dali Zensor Vokal (centre) / Mordaunt Short MS20i Pearl Edition (rear) / Q Acoustics1000Si (sub) / Roksan Radius 5.2 / Ortofon Super OM20 Cartridge / Sky HD / WD My Book Live 2TB / Seagate Expansion 2TB / Nintendo Wii / Tacima CS-929 

BEDROOM:  Samsung LE32C450 / Sony BDP-S360 / Echostar HDS-600RS / Netgear WNCE2001

6th.replicant's picture
Offline
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 3005
RE: Worst film you've ever seen.

The Mercenary (aka The Lazarus Papers)

OK, this is it, trust me, this really, really, really is 'the one' - The Worst Film, Ever  shocked

Note the box-cover: the title, The Mercenary; Danny Trejo yielding a gun; images of big explosions and swooping choppers.

So, any mercenaries in the film? Nope.

Does Danny Trejo ever actually hold a gun? Not for a millisecond.

Any footage of helicopter gunships and subwoofer-rumbling fireballs? Erm, not in this film.

But it is set in SE Asia, with a plotline involving a mail-order bride scam exploiting HIV-infected prostitutes, some cod surrealist/supernatural/afterlife twaddle, a "cor blimey, guvnor" mockney, and plenty of local 'actors' with a permanent look of "do I say my line now?" bewilderment.

Production values are high, compared to YouTube footage shot on a webcam. Class moment: the female lead enters her grim bathroom to dye her hair for a disguise, and emerges wearing a bright pink wig in a style totally different from her own rolling on the floor laughing

And it's so dull, depressing, badly written, directed, acted etc that it's not even 'so bad it's good'suicide