I'm back and alive....but only just!

Well that has helped my dieting out no end.  

its good to see your avatar again cno,glad your ok mate,looking forward to part2 of your story

Some people pay good money for that. Allegedly. 

Ok ok, I shouldn't take the p***

Seriously though, get well soon. 

''take the p***...'' cno wishes that bloody nurse could!!

Well, the Valium did have some effect, and probably stopped me exploding. It allowed the odd painful dribble (felt like passing boiling water) along with blood clots (sorry if too much detail!)...probably about a thimble full per painful effort!

As promised, the ambulance arrived, and I was unceremoniously wheeled in and taken to the nearest hospital, about 25 minutes away. On the way, they told me there had been a fire in the wing that I was heading to and everyone had been evacuated...As Victor Meldrew would say, "Its UNBELIEVABLE"

We duly arrived, and the fire had been dealt with. I was deposited in a wheel chair in A&E and was told there were 4 people to see before me. I think I can say with certainty, that this is the most miserable I've ever felt in 52 years. I sat in that chair for over 1.5 hours, with a bladder that felt like it was going to burst and a back that had major surgery on it a few hours previous.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of the young surgical team appeared and put me in one of those beds you get in A&E for diagnosis.

By this stage I knew the procedure only too well...tube of anesthetic gel followed by "chimney sweeping". The result was, well....the same......so he said that he would have to get the "big tube", which was less flexible.

So off he went...and vanished for around 45 mins. I used the time to stagger to and from the loo and pass thimble-fulls of "boiling blood stained water".

He finally arrived back, full of apologies, as he had got side-tracked with a small girl with a bad head trauma. He now produced a tube that was like 18mm worth of downpipe....and guess what...! He said he would have to pass me on to the registrar, who had more experience with how to proceed next, as he was out of options...but it would be half an hour or so.

At this stage, I had resigned myself to exploding....it's just I wish I could do it with my back being a little less sore!

In a little under half an hour the registrar arrived and asked to look at things. Now by this time, my bladder was like a balloon on the verge of bursting, and my poor "chimney" resembled a well fed Leech, that had been run over by a bicycle.

Given the numerous unsuccessful attempts, he would use a specialist catheter, with a narrow curved tip. This was my last best hope (as far as I was concerned anyway), and told him to give it his best shot......45 secs later, it was in. My relief was palpable, and if my back hadn't been in agony, I'd have kissed him there and then (well hugged him anyway).

It was now about 6.30am the following morning (Wed) and I realized that my last meds were hours ago and I needed something for my back, before I started screaming. I caught the eye of a passing doctor and got a cocktail that allowed a couple of hours sleep on the A&E bed, as that is all that was available....but to me, it was heaven. I had an empty bladder for the first time since 8.30 the previous morning (it was now 7am Wed), and the pain in my back had eased.

I was woken up with the offer of tea and a scone...and that reminded me I had eaten nothing since 8pm Mon night!!.

I gratefully received the simple offering. The tea was lovely, but I can only describe the scone as having the texture of uncooked dough mixed with polyfilla. It stuck to the inside of the mouth and gums and coated them as if it was the stuff you use to make a mould of your teeth. Hungary as I was, I couldn't take another bite (it took half an hour to finally expunge the first mouthful).

Around 11am I was taken to the ward and things improved dramatically after that.

Thank you for having the fortitude to make it to the end, and even if nobody does, getting it off my chest was good therapy.

Cno

Wooah - that made me wince (more than) a bit. 

Very glad to hear you're on the mend and back on the forum.  Hope your back gets better. 

Hi Cno.. I have read both your posts and I am quite scared even to imagine and glad to know that the worse is over. Wish you a speedy recovery!

I don't know about passing water, I think I'd have s4*t myself when he mentioned "the BIG tube"!

Glad your ordeal is mostly over and hope the recovery goes well.

The irony of the whole thing is the back surgery was a doddle compared to the "waterworks fiasco".....whoda thunk it!

Oh please god no!!!

+1

Don't worry, you're very (very) safe on that one!

Your catheter experiences are something I can relate to as I suffered the same post-operative problems you had when I went in for gall bladder surgery last year.

Luckily for me the catheter went in first time, oh the relief!

Sit/lie back, relax, and listen to as much music as you can. That's my non-medical advice for the next few days.

PS: 18mm OMG

.

Strewth, I read most of your two, rather graphic, posts through my fingers, what a horrible experience. I sincerely hope that's all behind you now and you make a speedy and full recovery. 

Thank you Joe.

In the words of Supertramp - Crisis? What crisis?