Have You Ever Heard Voices Before?

Hi Dave, I really appreciate the comment.

This only started in my mid teens after I received a fright.

Luckily it doesn't happen too often now, but seems to be triggered in times of constant severe stress. You think that you are handling the pressure, but it comes out when asleep.

It is scary stuff, and you continue "living" the horrific event for a while, even after you've woken up....ie. The dream becomes a sort of hallucination. I suppose you could describe it being like a genetically modified nightmare.

I hadn't heard of that before - just been looking it up - it sounds bad too, pretty similar in some aspects but I was just a wake and it was happening but it disturbed my sleep non stop.  I sleep talk and do wake up like throwing punches at someone before, which sounds like what you go through, but on a worse scale.

Cheers.

Hi CnoEvil

Could you look at my post earlier on this thread and see if you think that my problem might be Night Terrors please?

I did look it up, and I don't think it is, but I would like an opinion from someone who actually suffers from them.

Sorry to but in on your thread gel.

No it is okay.

Please take any of my thoughts as that of a layman....I know that is kind of obvious, but I have to qualify that my answer can't be used as any type of diagnosis.

If you are suffering this (and I strongly suspect you aren't), it would be in a very mild form.

What happens to me, is that I will see something like a large tarantula on the bed, or a sniper at the window pointing a gun into the room. I will wake up, heart pounding, covered in sweat and continue to see the apparition. I physically have to turn on the light before it goes away. 

Many years ago, when my daughter was still a baby and sleeping in our room, I grabbed her and dashed out onto the landing to protect her from the long black venomous snake, that was in her cot. Even after waking up, I could see the snake coiling round the cot, with its forked tongue flicking in and out. My long suffering wife took a while to convince me that it was all in my mind.

A night terror scares you witless, so if this isn't an element of what you experience, I think it's something else. It also strikes not that long after falling asleep.

Thanks CnoEvil

One of the first times this happened, if not the first, I was convinced that someone was in the room, and that I could see them moving, but once the light is on, I don't see anything.

I'm convinced of my dream theory, but I just wanted to know your opinion. It's not really scary for me, just confusing and weird, but it's absolutely nothing compared to gel and yourself's experiences.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, it's much appreciated.

That don't sound nice either.

I have to admit it was seriously scary.  Because I couldn't control the voice, it would just come and go all the time.  The best way I can describe it was like I was posessed.  It was just in complete control of me, and the best way would be to describe as I was not there.

I had compulsive writing too as a result and I wrote down everthing that happened to me, it came to about 70 pages!

Gel - I mean this sincerely. If you can write 70 pages about your issues, write a book or a film script. Your experiences could help an awful lot of other people. If a plebe like me can write a script I'm sure you'll have no problems. At least think about it, and any help I can give in this area, let me know.

Hi PP

Cheers mate - that is not a bad idea.  Because I didn't have a clue about what was happening to me - nor did my family.  If more people knew about this sort of thing, it would definitely help people.  As a result I did come close to suicide, but I was not in control of myself - which is the really scary thing.  I was too scared to even come back on the forum as a result.

Cheers PP

If nothing else, gel, writing a book or script is great therapy. When you start you have 'tunnel vision' and all your troubles are literally put on the back burner. Better than any medication, even if it is only over short periods.

Cheers PP, that is one of the reasons I started writing things down in the first place, to try and get rid of my problems.  I am probably doing better now in my life now than I was before it all started, so it has not been all bad.

Cheers again I will it some thought.  A lot of it is pretty personal though, I only shared say 70 per cent of what happened with people I know.  I will definitely give it some thought though  Actually a lot of people in this forum were connected with the voice and not in a good way.    It basically covered every aspect of my life and then some.  I spent about 4000 pounds when I was not in control too.  Pretty scary stuff.

First of all, I'm glad you're feeling better and have achieved what's termed "insight" (the ability to distinguish delusions and hallucinations from actual events). I think it's genuinely brave of you to discuss your experiences openly.

An immediate relative was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia two-and-half years ago, but hasn't been able to achieve a comparable degree of insight. As a family we'd spent fifteen years trying tirelessly to get a diagnosis, and early intervention dramatically increases the possibility of successful treatment. Needless to say, for my relative the world can seem an incredibly frightening and distressing place. He was hospitalised for the best part of a year and has been on antipsychotic medication since.

I recall watching a Ruby Wax documentary recently that sought to confront the stigma that can surround mental illness. Though the documentary dealt with bipolar disorder, OCD, and major depressive disorder, it did not deal with schizophrenia. I found this a tremendous shame, as there are great public misperceptions.

Contrary to popular opinion (and representations in a great many films, television shows and journalism), there is no notable increase in the possibility of violent behaviour among paranoid schizophrenics. Yet we're fed a diet of stories of schizophrenics being dangerous. Meanwhile, it still seems perfectly acceptable to throw around terms like "nutter" and "mental" that ostracise a great many vulnerable people. To add to this, people commonly understand schizophrenia to mean "split personality disorder," which is a far from accurate description.

What's needed is an open public dialogue about schizophrenia that seeks to dispel myths and confront the often dismissive and patronising language used to describe people with mental health problems. As progressive as we may have become as a society, mental illness (and schizophrenia in particular due to its absence from wider public discourse) remains the last acceptable stigma.

While I can't directly sympathise, I have a very clear idea of how difficult life can become for those suffering paranoid schizophrenia, as myself and other family members have lived my immediate relative's life vicariously for a decade-and-a-half (I've not to mentioned his name or relationship to me out of respect for his privacy). I'm only too aware of how frightening the condition can become.

Last of all, and in response to your original question, one thing I've come to realise over the years is that you're far from alone in your diagnosis. The more I speak about my family's experiences, the more people I meet that have been affected by schizophrenia in some way. Thanks for posting, Gel. I have a great respect for your courage and candour and I wish you well...

Incidentally, on the abovementioned dismissive language, could forum moderators be vigilant in removing such examples from  these boards in future? I've seen a few such examples during my time here (though they're fortunately very rare). I complained once but to no avail. Such language shouldn't be tolerated in a progressive and liberal society. Sorry to get on my soapbox, but it's something I feel strongly about, as I've witnessed first hand how such terms contribute to feelings of isolation. Many thanks.

Hi Strapped

Many thanks for your reply - appreciate it, cheers.  All above makes sense.  One thing that was interesting was the voice led me to get help really early.  I had to wait over Xmas when the voice got unbearable that point I thought I was going to be sectioned and beaten up and for some reason suicide was the only way out, then because I don't believe in suicide this caused me serious distress.  Then I saw a combination of numbers which led me to the conclusion that was the only way.  So I literally took the money out of the bank to do it, then at the last minute the voice changed its mind to mocking me instead.

Seriously scary stuff.  My hair has got noticeably greyer in the past year!  still now some things are hard to work out from reality but one thing that seemed to help me was I didn't care what happened to me in the end and that help get me through.

Cheers again Strapped.

I hope your relative improves and gets better.

Thanks Gel.

During my time as an undergraduate I met a student that is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. Because of my family's circumstances I discussed the condition with him on several occasions. He'd reached a point where he was able to distinguish hallucinations and delusions from actual events.

This really helped him come to terms with negative thought patterns and anxiety, since he recognised that "what's happening isn't real." He was therefore able to rationalise many of the distressing thoughts he experienced. From what you say, it sounds like you're often able to do the same, even if this can be difficult at times, which is reason to feel positive.

As for grey hair, that happens to us all, unfortunately!

Yep, that is exactly it.  The paranoia still comes and goes, along with the anxiety but at least the voice has gone now.  It would say stuff like when I went to the doctors I would get arrested out of a certain scenario and I would believe it, then when it didn't happen the anxiety would go back down.  But then the voice would add on stuff and connect it with what was happening to me.  So then then the fear would come back again.  It was very clever the way it worked.

Cheers again.