Gawd, I have had a 'orrible day!!
The van went in for MOT and cost me hundreds. |( The car went in two weeks ago and cost an arm and a leg. |( This morning, also, our phone dies. Tried it in another box... didn't work. Tried calling TalkTalk several times this morning and had a sterile conversation with a mechanical woman. Purchased a new phone, and guess what? still doesn't work.
Finally got thru to TT this evening and they have detected a fault in my area. Could take upto 96 hours to rectify.
Currently stabbing a huge fluffy cuckoo with an aerosol can.
I'm off to boil some kittens. Meantime any jollyfication would be appreciated.
Put the HiFi on and chill, although that may now break as well 
I'm off to boil some kittens. Meantime any jollyfication would be appreciated.
Boiling kittens is ok, just don't try cooking any squirrels
Tomorrow will be a better day 
I'm off to boil some kittens. Meantime any jollyfication would be appreciated.
Boiling kittens is ok, just don't try cooking any squirrels
Nah... although 'squirrel tail soup' has a distinct taste. Shhh - that's a secret. 
Is this your van ?? 
Me, have a b-b-b-b-brown van? Mine's mauve with purple spots.
Sounds like you need to upgrade the car and van Mr Penguin.
Which is more, hundreds or an arm and a leg?
Dunno, my arms aren't worth much but my legs are pretty good. Got to be worth at least a grand?
Is this your van ??