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Music listening behaviour and loud music throughout the whole house

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mattmeer's picture
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Hi,

I am a son living with my father. 

Now my father is a serious audiophile, he likes to play his music loud. My room is on the top floor, in the attic, and my dad listens in the living room two floors below. Throughout the whole house and also the attic I hear his music in the background, especially bass notes and piano notes, trumpets etc.

As said my dad is a serious listener, he is constantly looking to upgrade something for his Naim set, trying to find differences in cable A compared with cable B. What he spends his money on is his problem, but I don't share his taste in music, and it is not fun to have to subject yourself for several hours a day to music that you (started to) dislike. It is hard to find a place in this house where you don't hear the music, it has become worse lately with a subwoofer. I used to listen sometimes to music myself 3 years ago, with some pc speakers but for the last years I haven't listened to my own music, I have lost joy in my own music and it just gives me bad associations. Well my mother doesn't seem to mind, she has her office at home though and usually puts the television on in the background of her office, not loud just normal, maybe to help her concentrate.

Now when I come downstairs to eat lunch or something, and my dad is listening to music, there is also a slight clash, he is grumpy to get interupted but I need to get lunch and sometimes I want to see the news on tv. Everything else I do on my own room, I don't watch movies or do any hobbies in the living room, only some watching news while having lunch and dinner. It's not like he doesn't have alot of time to listen to music, he works at home often aswell and spends atleast 2-4 hours a day listening. Sometimes when me or my mom come downstairs he sometimes mumbles that he can never listen, even though he has just spend one hour (or more) listening?

Ofcourse I have told him that I think he plays loud music, in which he responds, "Yes, sometimes I play loud!" We tried negotiating rules and most of the time during lunch he stops playing music, but that doesn't change the fact he still plays loud which you can hear everywhere in the house. The only option seems to move out when I can afford it...

 I know I am just his son, and it is not my own house, but I also feel like he could maybe care a bit more about me, I feel he places himself above others including my mom and me, he even has said that he is "the captain of this ship" when trying to negotiate each other's lifestyles. I don't speak my mind quickly and it takes courage to negiotiate with my dad, but it just seems he places his own interests above others.

Does this music listening behaviour sound acceptable ? How does your girlfriend/wife who you live with accept your listening behaviour?

Overdose's picture
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Joined: 8 Feb 2008
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RE: Music and loud music throughout the whole house

This might be best posted in the problems section. Wink

You could suggest that the best system upgrade that he could carry out, is a recording studio style accoustic treatment and sound proofing, creating the ultimate listening environment.. Your dad seems like a bit of a tweaker (not derogatory) and would probably go for something like that.

My listening behaviour is usually determined by the prescence or not, of my small children and they are louder, so win.

 

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GSB
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loud music throughout the whole house

You could try connecting with your father,try and understand  his obsession,maybe even get involved and he may then be open to you suggesting he play some different types of music...in the interests of exploring his hifi,thus maybe re-kindling your love of music.....or you could buy a tent and move into the garden Smile

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RE: Music listening behaviour

The Wife shares my taste in music, and while her default setting may be to turn the TV on -  mine being stick a CD on - we compromise and are both happy.

Unfortunately, your Dad is not your Wife, and compromise doesn't seem to be on his radar. My Dad was much the same when I lived at home, with a strong "you live under my roof...." mentality. There may not be a lot you can do about it apart from moving out...... Unless...

 

What about trying to get him into headphones? Buy him some decent ones for Christmas or his Birthday, make a point to say how much less he'll be affected by you, your Mum, the TV, any ambient noises.... You never know, you may convert him to a head-fier. Failing that, get yourself some decent noise cancelling headphones.

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RE: Music listening behaviour

Oops... Duplicate post...

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richie60's picture
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RE: Music listening behaviour and loud music

I just don't get this sort of behaviour!  A bit inconsiderate if he's disturbing anyone else in the house all the time with unwanted noise.

We all like to listen to music, but all the time?  I feel for you having to put up with it.  Can he not get a set of decent headphones?

lindsayt's picture
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Joined: 8 Apr 2011
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Life advice

mattmeer,

 

If you don't like living there, move out.

 

Stop worrying about the costs of moving out and just do it.

 

It'll be the best thing you've ever done - regardless of his listening habits.

 

You only have 1 life. Spend it doing what you want.

lindsayt's picture
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. Help please.

Oh, and you can tell him that Lindsayt from the hi-fi forums says that he can't be a really serious listener if he's only got a Naim set. cheer

Overdose's picture
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RE: . Help please.

lindsayt wrote:

Oh, and you can tell him that Lindsayt from the hi-fi forums says that he can't be a really serious listener if he's only got a Naim set. cheer

 

..........and he hasn't got any Goodmans Magisters. Shock

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bluebrazil's picture
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RE: . Help please.

 buy a really rubbish cd, im talking steps or s club 7 levels of bilge and slap that on his rig at his listening volumes on a sunday morning or when hes about to get in from work. 

 alternatively buy your own budget set up or a pair of good headphones.

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RE: . Help please.

I dunno, that might be too good. Try some Black Lace.

Aaaaga, doo doo doo........................

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MeanandGreen's picture
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  I think some good

 

I think some good headphones and maybe a headphone amp are in order here. Does your Dad know how uncomfortable you feel about the situation? There must be a level of compromise from both parties here. Your Dad should be able to enjoy his music, but not at continuously silly volume levels.

Maybe on certain evenings he can have "home concert night" where he can pump it all he wants if you get yourself out of the house for a couple of hours. Maybe through the week he could reduce the volume, or wear headphones. Good headphones give a sound that speakers cannot match in my opinion.

Also a good hifi system well set up doesn't need to annoy someone 2 floors up, either the house is made of cardboard, the system is poorly set up or it is being played at stupid sound levels.

 

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RE: Music listening behaviour and loud music

mattmeer wrote:

Hi,

I am a son living with my father. 

Now my father is a serious audiophile, he likes to play his music loud. My room is on the top floor, in the attic, and my dad listens in the living room two floors below. Throughout the whole house and also the attic I hear his music in the background, especially bass notes and piano notes, trumpets etc.

As said my dad is a serious listener, he is constantly looking to upgrade something for his Naim set, trying to find differences in cable A compared with cable B. What he spends his money on is his problem, but I don't share his taste in music, and it is not fun to have to subject yourself for several hours a day to music that you (started to) dislike. It is hard to find a place in this house where you don't hear the music, it has become worse lately with a subwoofer. I used to listen sometimes to music myself 3 years ago, with some pc speakers but for the last years I haven't listened to my own music, I have lost joy in my own music and it just gives me bad associations. Well my mother doesn't seem to mind, she has her office at home though and usually puts the television on in the background of her office, not loud just normal, maybe to help her concentrate.

Now when I come downstairs to eat lunch or something, and my dad is listening to music, there is also a slight clash, he is grumpy to get interupted but I need to get lunch and sometimes I want to see the news on tv. Everything else I do on my own room, I don't watch movies or do any hobbies in the living room, only some watching news while having lunch and dinner. It's not like he doesn't have alot of time to listen to music, he works at home often aswell and spends atleast 2-4 hours a day listening. Sometimes when me or my mom come downstairs he sometimes mumbles that he can never listen, even though he has just spend one hour (or more) listening?

Ofcourse I have told him that I think he plays loud music, in which he responds, "Yes, sometimes I play loud!" We tried negotiating rules and most of the time during lunch he stops playing music, but that doesn't change the fact he still plays loud which you can hear everywhere in the house. The only option seems to move out when I can afford it...

 I know I am just his son, and it is not my own house, but I also feel like he could maybe care a bit more about me, I feel he places himself above others including my mom and me, he even has said that he is "the captain of this ship" when trying to negotiate each other's lifestyles. I don't speak my mind quickly (introverted nerd) and it takes courage to negiotiate with my dad, but it just seems he places his own interests above others.of you

Does this music listening behaviour sound acceptable ? How does your girlfriend/wife who you life with accept your listening behaviour?

Hi I am sorry to hear  of your problem I am fortunate in that my son and I love music and w e are always recommending  albums groups and gigs to listen/ go to  on the 13 of December we saw the black keys at the o2 arina  as others have said headphones and I think if my son had said dad I think you play your  music to loud which I do sometimes I would have given it some thought and tried to be a bit more considerate  He moved out to live with his girl friend  last march but it wasn't to do with my music I hope . I hope you can sort this out good luck

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woollyjoe's picture
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RE: Music listening behaviour and loud music

I have the opposite problem. When my dad comes round he keeps saying, turn it up, turn it up

woollyjoe's picture
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RE: Music listening behaviour and loud music

Oh, and try Bose noise cancelling headphones for yourself.

ID.
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Move out?

Move out?

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