how do i keep my seventeen year old son on the straight and narrow?

If he's at college then he is old enough to fend for himself.

I lived independently from my parents from age 16 onwards, throughout my A'Levels (with holiday and weekend and evening jobs to support myself).

Earning a living to support himself and pay for a place to live, buy his food etc. will focus his mind. He simply won't have time for all the other BS.

You don't keep him on the straight and narrow. He keeps himself on the straight and narrow - or not. He is 17. Meanwhile you are asking a hi-fi forum for help!!!!!!!!

I did type a really in-depth reply about trying to build and nurture a strong mutually-respectful relationship with him, but when I clicked 'Post' the site kicked me out and lost everything I typed. But that was the jist of it. This forum, from a technical viewpoint, is quite possibly the most useless heap of steaming **** I have ever had the displeasure of using.

Don't pay his fines,they are his responsibility, IMO you are just making it to easy for him.

He's the one that got fined not you.

I think thats why we have an "off topic" section.

sounds like perhaps the way to go...soon there will be nothing left for me to take away from him...i want him to remain at college then hopefully university...but if i dont come up with a good strategy to change his behaviour...he will end up in court for one thing or another...i read somewhere that william the conqueror was pulling his hair out over his children, when he was old! lol..plus ca change.... and all that..

It's a phase. I was a git in my late teens, got into a bit of minor trouble myself, but came out the other side intact and I'm sure your son will too.

It's not gonna help in the short term I know, but if he's challenging your authority and getting away with it I can't see there's much else you can do. Only other thing would be to throw him to the wolves next time he's in bother and hopefully the lack of safety net might shock some sense into him.

 

Of course, I could always pop round and have a word.

I haven't got a 17 year old but a friend does. She said to him "if you do that, when you get back your bedroom will be empty apart from a mattress ". He did. It was. He didn't do it again.

It doesn't matter what you say or do he will take no notice what so ever.

Unfortunately he will have to find his own way through life, you paying fines etc is not helping him and at 17, your words of wisdom are only going to fall on deaf ears. You will just have to hope he has enough sense to not do anything too stupid. As previously said by others, he needs to start fending for his self by paying board, fines, beer money, driving lessons etc (might be an idea to buy his rubbers for him though, especially with a new girlfriend ) this will focus him more hopefully. 

i think your right, it seems if he gets into bother again, he is up before the magistrate. had another talk with him this morning...i told him if he gets thrown out of college, all he has is a bed, access to bathroom, food will be left out for him....

Hi is it possible for an Uncle or aunt to have a talk with him as some times father and son can be a bit to much as sometimes the hurt can stop common sense making sense

That will depend on what kind of relationship they have with them, there might be a third party who he has some respect for and may take notice of what they say.